Wed Sept 30, Day 48

Thoughts on sleep...

no, I'm not going to complain about not getting enough sleep. We have had enough of those complaints. Although, I'm still not sleeping through the night.

I absolutely love it when Henry falls asleep when I am holding him. It might be after he is done nursing and he just dozes off in my arms and on the boppy. It might be that I am rocking him to sleep. It might be that he is fussy so I have him on my chest and I lightly bounce/shake him up and down to settle him and he falls asleep. It doesn't matter how or why it happens, but I love it. However, in some of the books I have read (and I think I am overloading on information) it says that you shouldn't let your baby get too used to sleeping in situations you don't want to repeat forever. Now I know that I don't want to bounce Henry to sleep every single time he is supposed to go to sleep from now until he goes to college, but I do want to hold my baby as much as possible. I don't think it can hurt to let him sleep on me or in my arms from time to time. He's not even two months old yet.

Another thought: sleeping in bed with us. We do not co-sleep with Henry. Neither of us would sleep. We do bring him into bed with us if he is super cranky and he's been fed and changed. If he just wants to be held and its four or five in the morning and I've been up multiple times during the night, he comes to bed with us.

I've talked about the bassinet and the crib and naps in previous posts.

Sleeping in the swing: sometimes this is a blessing. If we just can't get him to sleep or if I am cooking dinner, Henry goes in the swing. Thank you for the swing, Mike and Amanda! I don't think it does him any harm to sleep in the swing. I try not to let it happen more than once a day because I want to make sure he get comfortable sleeping in his crib too.

Dreams: Ever since we got home I have had dreams that I am feeding Henry or that I am holding him and I wake up and FREAK OUT when he isn't there. This dream happens too often, but it has slowed down a lot. It's not every night anymore.

Tues Sept 29, Day 47

Henry is changing already. I know I've written about this before, but it really hits me sometimes. I know that he is going to change. I know it. Of course babies change and grow and get bigger and he will be able to do things he can't do now, but it seems like he has changed so much already. His hands, his small little hands have already gotten bigger. Patty likes to talk about how his feet have changed. She took this beautiful picture of his feet when he was about three hours old. They are wrinkly and water-logged. The picture is gorgeous.

His feet don't look like that anymore. They are smooth and pink and wonderful.

His face is different, his cheeks are chubby, he has two chins.

I just know that I am going to miss this. I am going to miss every moment. I try to take mental notes so I won't forget, but I'm already forgetting. I'm so grateful for digital photography. I-photo can help with my memory loss.

Monday 9/28, Day 46

Now that I know we can take Henry out and about or at least now that I am more comfortable with me taking Henry out, I am going to get braver.

Today I took Henry in the ergo carrier to Ralph's so I could get groceries for my new cooking project (a month of weeknight meals from Real Simple). I pushed his stroller too, so I would have a way to carry the bags home.

Henry fusses a little when you put him in the ergo, but once he is in, he sleeps soundly. I love having him so close and having my hands free. I need to use it even more so that he gets used to it.

We had to buy the infant attachment thing for the ergo so we could use it while he is this little. It's funny because he isn't that little, but he is still an infant who can't hold up his own head. He needs the extra support.

The ergo is different from the baby bjorn in the fact that Henry will always be facing me. He could be on my side, front or back, but he always faces me. That way he has control over his surroundings. If he gets overstimulated and wants to hide or look away, he can. We haven't had this problem yet since he promptly falls asleep. I will report any new developments.

Sunday 9/27, Day 45: DISNEYLAND

Holy Crap! We did it!

We ventured outside of a two mile radius and we took Henry to Disneyland (specifically California Adventure) for Patty's birthday. It was very successful and now we know we can do it!

I nursed him in a bathroom, in the theater watching Aladdin and in the car before we left.

I changed him in a bathroom and Phillip changed him in a bathroom.

When he was awake, he was great! He looked at lights and at people. He didn't fuss. He slept. It went really well.

and on top of it all: It was his first time at Disneyland! Patty's friend, Ky, gave us all buttons and Henry's says, "First Visit". It was adorable. If you are friends with Patty, you should watch the video she has on facebook of us arriving. It makes me cry just remembering it. We have such wonderful, sweet and creative friends.

Saturday 9/26, Day 44

Henry went with us to a parenting class at church. I love these classes, but this is the first time I actually have a baby. He's not in my tummy anymore, he is here! I have so many questions, I can't wait to get there.

And then we get there and I totally chicken out. I don't ask anything. I'm afraid that since I'm the only one with a tiny baby and everyone else has toddlers, that I'm going to waste people's time.

I left so disappointed in myself. I have so many questions and I'm so afraid to ask people. I will call Emily and Janet and bend their ears, but I usually hold back something. I talk too much and I don't ask enough about everyone else. Am I already so self (Henry) involved?

Is it like this for everyone?

By the way, Henry was wonderful while we were there. Once he got tired of being in his car seat, we put a blanket down and he laid on the ground. And when he got sleepy, we took turns holding him. So even though he was sick, he was still a great baby. We are so lucky and blessed and grateful for this miracle.

PS Happy Birthday Patty!

Friday Sept 25, Day 43

I hit a wall. I absolutely cannot get up three times in a night. When Henry starts crying that third time, I'm delusional. I can't see straight. I'm grumpy like you wouldn't believe (unless you are related to me and of course you can believe it). I start crying. My head feels so heavy. I'm a mess.

and then my hero is there

Even though Phillip gets up with me almost every time anyway, he always pulls through on this third time. He will get Henry, change him, rock him, soothe him until I get it together.

It's cliche, but I don't know what I would do without him.

Thu Sept 24, Day 42

I took Henry to the doctor. I called this morning and said, you have to see today. Henry had so much trouble breathing last night and I just couldn't take it.

And guess what?

He has an ear infection. It turns out that it's hereditary and Phillip had them all the time when he was a baby/kid. My baby is sick! He has an infection! Now he needs antibiotics. He is taking amoxicillin for ten days.

Janet told me that she thought I might have just been nervous and the doctor would tell us that everything was ok. Then when it turned out that he has an ear infection, she was proud and glad that I went with my instincts. And here I was thinking I didn't have any instincts for this whole motherhood thing.